Live from New York City, it’s the Wendy Williams Show. ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ Feel, feel, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel, feel it, it, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel it, feel it, feel it ♪ ♪ Let’s go, come on, you need it ♪ ♪ How you doin’ ♪ ♪ How, how, how, how you doin’ ♪ Now, here’s Wendy. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (audience whoops) ♪ How you doin’ ♪ Hi. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (audience member makes woofing noises) Thank you for watching our show. Say hello to my co-hosts, my studio audience. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) How you doin’? How you doin’? (fake cries) I’m not sure. (audience laughs) On account of the corona. (audience laughs) Let’s get started. It’s time for Hot Topics. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (deep bass music) Yeah. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (audience member makes woofing noises) Ooh, and somebody put dogs in here. It’s fantastic. (audience cheers) I love hearin’ a dog bark like that. I don’t wanna walk ya but I like to look at ya. (audience laughs) So I hope you had a nice weekend. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) I watched a lot of Sex and the City. It was on all weekend, okay? I saw “Selena” yesterday, for like the 25th time in my life. (audience laughs) What a fantastic movie. That Jennifer Lopez and Edward James Olmos and the rest of the people in that, what a fantastic movie. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) Fantastic. I only left the house one time. I had lunch with a girlfriend. And we only had to walk two blocks, but because we’re bein’ paranoid with the corona, I don’t know whether to be paranoid or not. (audience laughs)
(Norman laughs) So we took a cab instead of walkin’ ’cause I was nervous about just even bein’ outside, but then we got in the cab. It’s only me, the cab driver and her, and I’m like, “Wait a minute, “put all the windows down.” (audience laughs) And we only rolled up the block, two blocks, to a bar and burger place. Ate with our fingers and stuff, and then went on about our business. But I stayed in the house the whole weekend because they’re makin’ us paranoid. And then I’m like wait a minute, I’m living in an apartment building. I don’t know about you, are you worried about your ducts? Are your ducts leakin’ germs from other apartments? (audience murmurs) Exactly, exactly, sir. You didn’t think about that one. (audience laughs) But I discovered my still love for that, oh, okay, okay, okay. First of all, the cartoon, what’s it called? I told you, I love it. Yeah, you did. Oh, Duncanville.
Yeah. Clap if you know what I’m talking about. (few audience applauds) Oh my gosh, that is such adult fun, it’s ridiculous. I just can’t even breathe. Duncanville on Sunday nights. Second of all, there’s a new show on Bravo, ’cause I didn’t watch Atlanta, ’cause it’s all the same stuff. (audience laughs) But I watched the show with all those beautiful Indian people. It’s called Family Karma. Clap if you watch that. (few audience applauds) Ooh. (few audience cheers) Those are some beautiful people with a whole bunch of mess goin’ on. I was all in. Family Karma, keep it going and I’ll keep comin’ back. Yeah. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (audience murmurs)
(audience laughs) No, no, no, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, ’cause I don’t want anybody here to get sick, do you know what I’m saying, Suzanne? Mhm. All right, so nobody touch this, just leave it on the table. Don’t touch. As a matter of fact. (audience laughs) Yeah. (audience applauds) Then, the weirdest thing happened to me this weekend. Remember last week, we were talkin’ about fantasies, and I said the landlord comin’ in, actin’ like he’s gonna fix somethin’ but really your robe falls off (audience laughs) and he throws you down on the bed and does ya dirty? We were talkin’ about fantasies right here on the show, right? Do you remember I said one of my fantasies was the window washer situation? Yes, yes. Did it happen? I got the receipt. Go, boom, go. (audience laughs) Okay, okay. Okay. (audience applauds) (Wendy laughs) (audience laughs) I am sittin’ on the couch watching the what? (audience murmurs) The View, right? Takin’ a little time on Friday to enjoy The View. And what do I see? Well, first of all, the strings were already there so I knew there was some sorta, and I hadn’t noticed the strings ’cause they have to put the strings up before the guys get up there and the girls or whoever’s washin’. Next thing I know, and the cats are not in the room, and I’m sittin’ and watchin’. And I got on a negligee. I looked nice. (audience laughs) I mean I looked nice, enough. I had on a natural top knot though, I didn’t have on the wig, but I still, I give face. (audience laughs) And body. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) Next thing I know, I see them literally descending, and I’m tryin’ to take in Aunt Joy and Whoopi and the other girls, and I’m seein’ this. I’m like oh my gosh. (audience laughs) I had my phone with me so I snapped, on my Samsung by the way. (audience laughs) Okay? (audience applauds) Anyway, yeah, I was on my lymphoedema machine. I was not feelin’ hot at all. All of a sudden, that is not a fantasy, unless they call me before and I set myself up, you know what I’m saying? Right, right. And put on a full teasin’ pop. (audience laughs) I’m not on my lymphoedema machine. Like I got a condition, which you know I do. (audience laughs) I’m like oh, and they didn’t even look in. They sped by. (audience laughs) I was like how dare you, how dare you? Pick a finger, how dare you? (audience laughs)
(audience applauds) There were a few things that went on over the weekend that I just had to keep writin’ down notes. I always keep pads every place, I don’t know about you. Oh, get outta here. It’s a loose leaf. Trim the edge a little bit. For what? You don’t trim your edges. (Suzanne laughs)
(audience gasps) (audience laughs)
(audience applauds) Look, look, I’m joking everybody, okay? Please. Oh, all I’m sayin’ is there were a few things that went over the weekend and I always have a pad and I always have a paper around me and things like that, do you know what I’m saying? And this is the kind of girl I am. You rip it out. Come on, time to go to work. Oh. Ben Carsons, the Dr. Ben Carsons, I’m watchin’ George Stephanopoulos on Sunday. I’m saying, to my, first of all, I almost broke my own TV because I wanted to throw stuff at it as he talked, slow, low and dumb. I watched it.
You watched? I watched, uh-huh. What d’you think? George had to ask him the same question like four or five times. No, George raised his voice at him. Yes.
In a calm way. Yeah. Okay, clap if you know what I’m talkin’ about. (some audience applauds) I mean he might be good at bein’ a brain surgeon and everything but everybody is not adequate to be on TV. Right. Or speak. Just operate on brains. (Norman laughs) He said nothing about corona. Then George had two other doctors who came on right after Ben who basically broke it down in 30 seconds. Birthday queen, you know what I’m talkin’ about, in the green. Yes. You watched? Yeah, and he could not answer. I felt so bad.
He’s good for our people. He’s good for our people but not at George. No, don’t give her the mic, Marco. (audience laughs) I mean Joanie. How you doin’? But you know what I’m saying. He’s good for our people but why was he so less than smart? And a good-lookin’ man, but even if you put the TV on mute, ’cause I tested him, I put the TV on mute and he’s sittin’ like this. (audience laughs) I couldn’t see the whites in his eyes. I couldn’t tell his emotions. He talks flat and just stick with the brain operations, Dr. Carsons. Don’t talk anymore. (audience applauds) And then the South by Southwest Festival was canceled, which that’s a big deal, when they cancel a festival, on account of this virus. Ben Carsons never put us onto anything, so I’m still confused. (audience laughs) And then the NBA, you heard, that they’re about to start havin’ games, they’re still investigating, with nobody in the stands. And LeBron’s like look, I’m a performer and a player, if there’s nobody in the stands, I’m not playin’. So this is very, very horrible. (audience applauds) By the way, while I was watching TV yesterday, I had a good, old pork roll sandwich. (audience laughs)
(Norman laughs) Shout out to my people in Jersey. If you know, you know. Pork roll, otherwise known as Taylor Ham. We love it. You cut it three places. You put a good, old, well, for me, I like a fried egg on top, yolk hard. Nice wheat bread or a soft roll. Jelly on the bottom, spicy mustard on the top. Nope, you gotta set it off. (audience laughs) Yes, yes. (some audience applauds) And I talked to my traveling companion. Not a lover, the traveling companion. (audience murmurs) Well, he’s got money, he’s very civilized, and he’s got a passport. (audience laughs) Where I would like to go is Guatemala. I gotta tell you why. I discovered somethin’ new over the weekend. I saw them cookin’ it through the TV. Is anybody here from Guatemala? Clap if you are. Okay. Well, look, get back at me through, like slide in my DM. (audience laughs) Look, Kak’ik soup, Now let me tell you about this Kak’ik soup, okay? (audience laughs) So they make it, it’s all brothy. They put everything from the spices in it, right, and then it’s broth. And then by the time they get ready to serve it to you, they’ve already been cooking turkey drumsticks over there. They take the turkey drumstick and they put it in the soup like it’s the spoon. Oh. Let me tell you how this look. Shout out to Guatemala. (audience laughs) Do we have Guatemalan restaurants here? It’s New York. I’m sure. (audience murmurs) We’ll get a chef, Guatemalan chef, and come on and make that. Please, thank you. That’s what we’ll do, we’ll look for one. Kak’ik soup. Kak’ik soup. And I need the turkey drumstick. You don’t even need a spoon. I mean I wouldn’t eat it with a spoon. Personally speakin’, it looked good just to slide it up and lick the drumstick. (audience laughs)
(audience applauds) And then you bite the drumstick one time so it scoops out, and then that’s how you bring the soup up. (audience murmurs) (audience laughs) No, I’m very serious about this. Suzanne? Yeah, no, we’re gonna get on it. Don’t yank my chain. No, we’re gettin’ it. Kak’kike soup. Kak’ik soup. Kak’ik soup. From Guatemala. (audience laughs) Congratulations Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom. First of all, Katy, (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) I really like your new song. I really like her new song. It made me cry, ’cause she’s talkin’ about she wants to get it right the first time or somethin’ like, I’ve forgot the– She’s never worn white ’cause she wants to get it right. Yes. Yes. Aw. Uh-huh, uh-huh. So I forgot all about she and Orlando Bloom were even a couple. So they’re getting married and she announced the pregnancy right there in her video. Aw. Even the most hardened person would cry their eyeballs out at this video. Anyway, so congratulations to you two and happy birthday to Bow Wow. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) Bow Wow turned 33 today, looks every bit of 18, right? Yeah. Just you relax. (audience laughs) Looks every bit of 18. He fell this weekend though. Fortunately, he’s short so it wasn’t a hard fall. (audience laughs) (audience murmurs) Look, look, look, none of his friends went to rescue him. The guy in the red just wanted his moment. But happy birthday, Bow Wow, you are officially in our Fall of Shame. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (fanfare) (audience laughs)
(audience murmurs) My mom and dad are supposed to be comin’ this week. I was tellin’ you last week that they’re comin’ for a week, just to hang out. And we had tickets for The Temptations and we were gonna go to restaurants and we were gonna go shopping and stuff. So I had to have a rough conversation, or I thought it was gonna be a rough conversation with them this weekend, based on all the alarm-isness that’s going on, other than Ben Carson, who doesn’t know how to speak. (audience laughs) Okay? (Norman laughs) Even our Governor Cuomo declared, he got on TV.
Governor Murphy. In breaking news and said it’s a state of emergency in New York. Now I don’t want you to be scared of our city ’cause it’s a whole lot of fun, the tickets are free at WendyShow.com. (audience laughs) (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) But I gotta tell you somethin’. So I called up my old people. They don’t act old, they’re really young. They still know how to slide and boogaloo, my mom and dad. But I called them up and I thought I’d have to argue and hang up the phone on ’em. I said, “Now look-a here, you all. (audience laughs) “There’s somethin’ goin’ on “all around the country. “I know you all watch the news. “I’m very serious about this. “84 and 89 years old, “you’s don’t need to be gettin’ on a plane. “You don’t need to be touchin’ people, “you don’t need to breathin’ the, “just you stay right there. “I wish that you could come. “No, I can’t come see you ’cause I’m working a job.” Plus, they’re all sayin’ if you’re 50 and above, you need to be frightened. (audience murmurs) Well, I know I look 23. (audience laughs) (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (audience stomps feet) But I’m not tryin’ to test it (audience laughs) by gettin’ on the, “So no, I’m not comin’ to see you. “You can’t come to see me. “We’re gonna give this thing a rest to go away.” And my mom and, I thought I was gonna have to fight with them. Instead, they said, “Oh Wendy, we were gonna call you this evening. “We’ve already canceled.” Oh. No, I like that though. You don’t have to argue with your parents about something like that. And we were really lookin’ forward, we were gonna go to The Temptations, you know what I’m sayin’? Yeah. And do the whole bit. I had the restaurants already picked out. (Wendy blows out air) Talked to my friend Sandra Lee over the weekend, you know I love Sandra Lee. Well, she talked first. Yeah. You know Sandra. Yeah. (audience applauds) Uh-huh. She was our Governor Andrew Cuomo’s girlfriend for 14 years, but they’re not together anymore, but they’re still friendly. But let me just tell you this, okay, so we’re close. So I wake up and I see a text from her, and the text is a picture. She says, “Wendy, “if I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was you.” And it was a picture of a woman working in the first pop-up coronavirus place in Washington D.C. And when I looked at the picture, I was like oh my gosh. (audience murmurs) (audience laughs) I mean her boobs don’t look as perky though. (audience laughs) But other than that. (some audience applauds) When she sent that, like (belches) lady, I don’t know who you are or what you look like after you take off the mask, but while you have the mask and the good hair and the pretend boobs and that whole, Suzanne, right? Exactly. Is this what you were doin’ over the weekend? (laughs) (audience laughs) Weekend gig down in D.C. (laughs) Well, what do you do over the weekend? I’m not doin’ that. I’m hiding. Oh, you mean am I in Washington? Yeah. No, I’m not doin’ anything. No, no, oh.
No, please. I’m in my house.
I’m in the house. Yeah, I’m hiding too. So she sent me that, right, Sandra Lee, and then she also says to me, “You’ll never believe what I’ve been involved in.” I said, “What?” And this was later on in the day. It’s a whole dragged out thing later on in the day. I said, “What?” And so later on in the night, she texts me. Sandra is the person who found Justin Bieber’s $15,000 cat. (audience member screams) Yes, it was Sandra Lee. Now let me tell you, all right, ’cause look, look, okay. (audience murmurs) (audience laughs) By the way, this picture made me look at my own cats like you’d better get your lives together. (audience laughs) Would you look at this beautiful cat over here, right? Oh, no, oh, no, I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it, I don’t mean it. Oh, go away, go away. Ooh. (audience murmurs) But mm, right? Mm. (audience laughs) Mm. Mm. It’s cruel though. I’m an orphanage person, not a buy two cats for $35,000 person. (audience applauds) Just sayin’. Oof. So anyway, so I’m watchin’ Harvey on the TMZ on Friday. Was it Friday? No, might’ve been a repeat on Saturday, in between Sex and the City. I always change when Big leaves Carrie at the altar. (audience murmurs) Yep. And they beat him with the flowers from the wedding. (audience murmurs) And also, another one that I can’t watch is when she’s with Berger. I don’t like Berger, I hated that story. I hated it. So that’s when I… (laughs) I’m laughin’. At what? He broke up with her on a Post-It note, that whole thing, I’m with you. I hate the Berger episodes too. No. He broke up with her because Charlotte’s daughter hid the phone. You remember? No, Big broke up with her for that. I’m talkin’ about Berger. Oh. (laughs) I was with you. (laughs) Anyway, there’s certain episodes that I don’t even like to watch because I just get mad at the whole TV. (Norman laughs)
(audience laughs) What was I tellin’ you? (audience murmurs) I was in the middle of a story. Oh, okay, all right. So I’m watchin’ Harvey on the TMZ and they’re talkin’ about Bieber’s cats. And this is after Sandra told me, but her name wasn’t brought up. And I’m wondering whether Sandra even told them or whether Bieber told them and I guess not. Once a show pony, you always want the stage for yourself so maybe you don’t share it with Sandra. The cats ran, this one cat, Sushi, that’s Sushi, that’s the cat’s name. (audience murmurs) Another thing I won’t be eating until we can clear up the atmosphere. (Norman laughs) So Sushi ran away. 40 miles away is Sandra Lee’s house. Now Sandy, I know, didn’t leave New York until last Wednesday, all right. So she’s just gettin’ home to her ranch. She’s got a beautiful ranch, she’s taking care of her aunt and her uncle. And she was barely there. And she sees somethin’ goin’ on outside and some scratchin’ at one of her (emphasizes word) several back doors. (audience laughs) And it turns out to be Sushi. Well, thank goodness Sushi ran to a proper place because if you found this cat, wouldn’t you keep it for yourself? (audience murmurs) Change the name. You don’t even know their name. (audience laughs) I don’t know whether the cat has one of those detectors in her or not. My cats don’t have the detectors. I’m like all right, well, if you all choose to run away from all this, (audience laughs) go ahead. (audience applauds) Go ahead. Just saying. They came with everything prepared, they’re fixed and spayed and neutered or whatever you call it. They don’t like to go outside. They don’t even like to leave my side. They’re probably, and I leave a TV on in their room, so they’re watchin’ right now. How y’all doin’? How you doin’? (laughs) I open the door, they stare in the hall, I told you that. They don’t even go out there. But all I’m sayin’ is that the cat, the one cat, 40 miles, as a cat, can you imagine the reality show that would be? (audience laughs) Then they get to Sandra’s abode. Believe me, she’s got money. They get to her abode and she says to me, “Yeah, I opened up two,” or he did, or she, one’s a boy and one’s a girl, I’m not sure what Sushi is. Anyway, she opened up two cans of tuna fish. Not even cat food, see? This is how you do it. (Norman laughs) Two cans of tuna fish and a bowl of milk. (audience murmurs) Brought her or him back around. ‘Cause she’s got the money, she took him to a vet and he had the chip and it showed up the Bieber address and the cat, so she and Bieber have got a thing, Bieber, you’re lucky that your cat was found by somebody so caring. (audience applauds) Good for you, Sandra. Now look, oh, there’s only one more thing, but I could say it as I stand up, ’cause I don’t gamble. But I am shocked that the Aqueduct raceway was robbed (clatter) here in New, what, what was that? (audience laughs) What d’you just spill? (Norman laughs) What was that? (laughs) A loose fart? (laughs) No, it was not a loose fart. Suzanne keeps a cup of candy underneath my podium and I just spilled it all so that’s what happened. My mints are over there. But you still have one in your mouth? What? You still have one in your mouth? No, it’s gone, but that’s for tomorrow morning before the show. (Norman laughs) Don’t mess with my mints, Norman. (laughs) I didn’t even know you heard that. Do you gamble?
No. You heard about the Aqueduct? Yes. Almost $300,000.
Yeah, it’s horrible. It sounds like an inside job. Look, they went on in there and they got the worker. They knew the worker wouldn’t have a gun or a phone. They got the worker as the worker had already emptied out a few of the machines. Now my thing is, don’t you gamble with coins? So if you’re emptying machines, how heavy is almost $300,000? (laughs) Look, the thieves are still on the loose. (audience murmurs) And a shout out to the little girl on Utica in Brooklyn, the 15-year-old. I’m sorry to hear about everything that happened. It’s disgusting out here. The safest place to be is right here. Yeah. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) We got more great show for you everybody. Up next, (cheers become louder) we got the Inside Scoop on that rapper DaBaby slappin’ a fan. So grab a snack and come on back. (dance music) (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) ♪ Feel, feel, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel, feel it, it ♪ ♪ Woo ♪