If You’ve Ever Lost a Pregnancy | What I Learned About God | Lisa Hromada

Now there are three stories to our life.
There is a story that we write, the story that’s being written through us, and the
story that we co-write with God. The story that we write translates as to us
as personality seeking out purpose and fulfillment. It is determining what we want
for our life and we go after it; we’re writing that beautiful story. Then
there’s a story that’s being written through us. And this is by the grace of
God. And it’s often not the exact story that we intend to write, but it’s always
for our benefit. And then there’s a story that we can co-write with God. And this
comes when we consciously surrender to this story that’s being written through
us and when we live from a place of love, thought and free will. Now upon coming
into this life, there’s one thing that I knew for sure that I wanted. I wanted to
become a mom. So in 2012 my husband and I are ready to start having a family.
So I start writing this beautiful story. This is probably when I’ll
get pregnant… this is when the due day is going to be… this is how I will tell my
family and friends… this is how they’re going to react… this is when I’m going to take off from work… I was playing out this beautiful story.
It takes me… We start trying… it takes me a few months to get pregnant. I get
pregnant. Eight weeks into my pregnancy we have our first appointment and I get
to see the little blip of the heartbeat on the ultrasound machine and we’re
ecstatic, so we tell our family and some of our close friends. Then around week
nine something odd began to happen. I began to have these vivid dreams that
something was wrong with my pregnancy. one such dream was I was in a hospital
and I was looking through the nursery window and a nurse comes up to me and
asked me my name, I tell her, and she brings out this beautiful baby. And this
baby and I, we look at each other, we’re both smiling and I feel this immense
sense of love and connection. I know this is my child. And yet I look at the tag on
the bassinet and the tag on the bassinet says that the birth date of the child is a
year later and this really confused me. Well two weeks later, I have yet another
dream and in this dream I’m bleeding and I’m hoping everything is okay with my
pregnancy. Two days later, I have yet another dream
that something is wrong with my pregnancy. I soon found out why. We go in for our 12-week appointment, we’re excited, we’re going to be able to hear our
baby’s heartbeat. And we go in and the doctor searches for a heartbeat
and searches and searches and she can’t find a heartbeat. So she takes me into a
little ultrasound room and I could tell by the look on her face that she’s
not seeing anything. She sends me to a bigger ultrasound place and it’s
confirmed that I no longer have a viable pregnancy. And I’m devastated. What I
didn’t realize was that around week nine, around the time that I was starting to
have these dreams, the heart stopped developing. Well a light in my darkness
came two days after finding out that I had this miss miscarriage. Before going
to sleep at night I opened up my eyes and I looked to my husband’s side of our
bed and up from his silhouette floated these particles of light and color. So, I
watched these particles and they floated up from his silhouette and they flow
into a shape of a heart. And it stays in front of me and then it disappears. Now
what this told me was that God knew, spirit knew, how devastated I was, how
much I wanted this, and how confused I was, but they wanted to let me know that
there is love for me always, as there is for each one of us. We each experience
our own set of suffering, but that there’s love for us and we are never
alone. Well despite feeling good about this experience I still went month after
month trying to get pregnant. I was desperate to get pregnant. I was
driving myself crazy. I was thinking… I was thinking back to that time that I
found out that I was no longer pregnant. I was thinking back to the time that I
had to tell my family and my friends and see the looks on their faces and each
time it was like a dagger in my heart. This is where love, thought and free will
comes in. I had to believe in the love of God, I had to harness the power of my thoughts so they weren’t causing me suffering; I had to
take my freewill actions in a way that not only benefitted and healed me, but
also other people especially my husband who was also suffering in his own way
because of what happened. Well after months of experiencing this I made a
very important decision. I surrender to God. I surrender to this
plan. In fact I remember writing in my journal these exact words
“Maybe my story is meant to be different.” I didn’t surrender all the way though; I
still held on to that desire on a regular basis that I wanted and needed
to get pregnant again, but when I did surrender something beautiful happened. I began to have dreams and messages with meditation that I would get pregnant.
One such meditation, I asked whoever was listening “when am I
going to get pregnant?” and I saw the number two. I said “okay two months, two
years, the second month of the year, what does that mean?” and I saw the number
seven and the number seven transformed into the number nine and the number nine
stay there for a little bit longer. What this told me, my impression was that okay
well maybe that means I’ll get pregnant between the seventh month of the year
and the ninth month of the year, between July and September… maybe closer to
September because the number nine stayed there longer. Three weeks later, I have a
vivid dream and in the dream my great-grandmother comes to me in my
dream. And she’s come to me before and I feel this immense sense of love and
connection and excitement and I asked her a lot of questions and including one
of those questions was “Will I get pregnant in September like I’ve been
thinking?” and I saw a cloudy “yes” so I kept that with me. I said okay maybe that
will happen. Fast forward August 20th about a week shy of September I say a
prayer. And in this prayer I asked to speak with a soul who would come in as
my child and I said one thing, “When you’re ready, I’m ready.”
That day I found out I was pregnant, and nine months later we had our first child.
Now I was just starting to get a glimpse of what it means to co-write our story
with God, what it means to surrender, what it means to have love, thought and free
will to our advantage, not only to get through times a challenge, but to start
to create a life of our choosing, but I didn’t know enough yet.
Two years later we decided to try for our second child. So after a few months I
get pregnant. Fast forward 12 weeks, 13 weeks along, 14 weeks along… I
found out I needed to have another procedure done. This too wasn’t going to
work out. And I again was devastated, but this time. I knew more… now I completely
surrender this time. The most beautiful part of this story is that then a little
over a half a year later before waking up, I have this vivid dream, and in this
dream I’m looking at a positive pregnancy test, and the positive on the
test transforms into the crystal-clear words, “healthy pregnancy.” That morning I got up and found out I was pregnant and nine
months later we had our second child. now in hindsight, I believe that God says to
each one of us before we come into this life, “Now beloved soul, you have chosen to come into this life and it’s a gift. You’ve chosen to experience a certain
set of challenges and times of suffering. But beloved knows this, I have given you
everything that you need, to see yourself through these times of challenge, to
create a life of your choosing, and I will be with you every step of the way.”
Now we each have experienced our own set of challenges in our life but, what we
all have is this empowerment of loved, thought and free will. So then when we
integrate love, thought and free will in our life, when we live from good
intentions, a loving heart, a solutions mindset, and we take actions that benefit
both us and others, we instantly align ourselves with the flow of life — meaning
we’re able to go with a flow better. It’s really incredible. So here’s what I
really want you to come away with knowing today. I want you to know what’s
possible for you, that no matter how busy your life has been, no matter how crazy
your life seems, no matter the challenges that you have had to experience, that you
have all that you need at this very moment to create a life of greater joy,
peace, purpose, passion, fun, adventure, whatever you wish your life to be. What
most people at the end of their life regret is not that they failed others, or
even God, but that they failed themselves. I don’t want anyone coming to a point
where they say “I could’ve, would’ve and should’ve. We have the opportunity
right now to declare what we want our life to look like and then start taking
the steps to live that life. So go out and do what is in your heart always, ask
for guidance and you will receive it, focus on the solutions that are always
available to you, and by all means, create a life of your choosing.

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