Fertility Treatments| ❤️Raw and Vulnerable❤️|


Calling all friends who have done
fertility treatments or who are considering it
here is my vulnerable story and our fertility treatments and the thoughts
that I had while we were going through them stay tuned all right sisters and
mistis sue for those of you who don’t know my husband and I did do fertility
treatments to get pregnant with our first child and so this is not gonna be
a video about how to do fertility treatments or anything like that it is
straight up gonna be like the mental health stuff that goes along with
fertility treatments and what it looked like for me so my journey isn’t
everybody else’s journey and so this isn’t to say if you’re looking at doing
fertility treatments this will be your story like totally not at all guys this
is my story this isn’t even my husband’s story right this is just my story this
is me me me and some of the struggles I had was doing fertility treatments and
kind of where I’ve come from since then okay so have at it so I think we were 24
when we started doing fertility treatments but I’m gonna backtrack so I
remember growing up wondering I just had this weird thought all the time not all
the time but often when I think about kids that I was never gonna be able to
have kids and so super distorted thought I don’t know where I got that from but
it was something I like held near and dear to me for a long time I mean I
remember being a teenager thinking this I remember being in my early 20s
thinking this and I remember when my husband and I decided to start trying to
get pregnant I thought this mean so sorry I’m like fixing myself constantly
but I look goofy so um I remember holding that story for a long long time
and so and I had lots of rationales for why that could be
bla bla bla bla Benna birth control for a long time my cycles were irregular
whatever fill in the blank I made this excuse for why I didn’t think I was
gonna be able to have kids so fast-forward to I think we were 23 or 24
what also causes some shame for me because I
felt like I was too young to be considering having kids we had have been
24 it doesn’t matter you guys don’t get my age well you might but you’re not
gonna get the exact age cuz I don’t even know the exact age so here we go so um
my husband and I got married and then we started trying to get pregnant and I
remember not telling anybody we were trying to get pregnant because I was
like I’m too young I shouldn’t be trying to get pregnant
this is so naughty right and so um we tried and we tried and we tried and we
tried and um I didn’t get pregnant but more over than that I just wasn’t having
regular cycles so that was like I don’t know if I can get pregnant if my
silicon’s not regular so we went to the doctor and when we went to the doctor
they said like yeah there’s a little something-something up if you guys
actually want to get pregnant you guys probably need to do fertility treatments
and I think I had been off birth control for like somewhere around eight months
or six to eight months I can’t remember for sure the exact numbers but
regardless they said that there was some stuff messed up and they were gonna do
some testing on me and on my husband and see if like our numbers looked right and
everything and so it ended up being that I did not produce large enough eggs
that’s not the right term right now I can’t think of what that term is right
now so bear with me you guys know what I mean if you’re watching this video so um
and that’s why I wasn’t having my cycle often enough ovulating
I wasn’t ovulating regular and regularly so um my husband and I talked about it
and we decided to start fertility treatments and it was like so shameful
for me you guys like I didn’t tell anybody I don’t believe I told anybody
because one I thought we were too young to have kids and that people would judge
us for that decision and two I thought people were gonna question me of like
why are you doing fertility treatments and you didn’t try long enough and I
don’t know whatever else you can think of that people might say to me I was so
scared of the judgment of other people so I said nothing
to anybody but my husband and that my friends was a tough road to travel alone
without any support or any like validation or any like Brittany you
crazy like quit thinkin like that because fertility treatments are tough
emotionally they were on me tough emotionally it was tough on my marriage
it was tough on a relationship it was like this thought of like I think I want
to have kids but oh my gosh do we really want to have kids right now there was a
lot of thoughts going on my parent getting onto annuity and so that was
really tough so we continued with fertility treatments and we got pregnant
the first cycle and so I was like oh my gosh Brittany you jumped the gun you got
pregnant on the first cycle like you probably didn’t need fertility
treatments oh so hotter myself and um after about eight weeks I had a
miscarriage and so all the stuff that goes along with that and those thoughts
I had previously of you’re never going to have kids all came just running back
of like you forced this to happen and it wasn’t the right time it wasn’t
meant to be this is what happens Brittany when you force things to happen
I mean seriously like it was shame shame shame for me it was bad it was sad my
husband and I were young if you will and so the support for each other was like
it was tough to know how to like be there for each other while we were
grieving ourselves I mean it was really tough a tough journey to walk alone and
also I hadn’t told anybody and so I remember my first phone call to my
sister-in-law of me sobbing actually she came over to my house and I was sobbing
and I told her one we did fertility treatments and two I had a miscarriage
and she was blown away her and I were so so close and I hadn’t even told her and
so she was like it was like double gasp for her like huh and she snuggled me and
cuddled me and let me cry in her arms and was the most amazing person like she
always is in this whole world but that was a really shameful journey to walk
alone and so my husband and I did another round of fertility treatments
very quickly after and I got pregnant with my daughter and I carried her
full-term and she is the most amazing I get tears in my eyes just thinking about
her she is the most amazing gift we’ve ever been allowed to have and I look
back and I’m so thankful that we did fertility treatments and also so this
video is for two things one is to give you guys hope that fertility treatments
can work that pregnancies can happen even when you have told yourself your
whole life that it’s not gonna happen but to to let you guys know that the
journey isn’t easy and those things we tell ourselves that feels so real and so
true are not so real and are not so true I was so ridden in the shame of
everything I was too young to get pregnant I I didn’t meet the criteria
for fertility treatments I was forcing God’s timing or the universe’s timing
and so I was being punished for it what are the fertility treatments gonna do to
my baby I mean just all this shame that I isolated myself from being able to
share with other people and for them to be able to help me through it and so my
story is out here super vulnerably I’ve never shared the story in a large
audience ever and I don’t think I’ve ever shared this full story in my life
quite honestly because it was such a shameful and I don’t know just such a
tough time in life that ended up being so good in the end that I think it’s
easy to overshadow and forget about how tough emotionally that was for me
because it ended so well and so I want to go I do want to go back and share
this journey so people can see the ups and downs through it and know that
fertility treatments are tough emotionally physically in every way
possible but there’s other people out there who have been through it and who
have had those thoughts and who have had those worries so please reach out
if there’s anything that you guys feel like I haven’t shared please comment
below and help me kind of spread the word of eliminating the shame around
this and also if you guys kind of honed in on my talk about having a miscarriage
I will do another video on miscarriages and the effects of miscarriages and I’ll
do a little bit more of a clinical video with that one but I will also share my
story in there so please stay tuned and look for that so thank you guys thanks
for being with me thanks for listening to my story I hope that if you are going
through fertility treatments and you’ve had these thoughts or haven’t had
fertility treatments and have had some of these thoughts know you’re not alone
thanks guys have a wonderful day and I’ll see you all soon you

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