Father’s Role & Meditation In Pregnancy – BK Shivani & Dr. Nitika Sobti (English Subtitles)

Namaste. Once again we are together on Virtue Baby. We have understood that as my thoughts become purer My child’s thoughts also start becoming similar. So I need to work on my thoughts I can take this as a break to understand myself I can bring about any changes in myself during this phase So that my child will be filled with those virtues. The virtues which I start inculcating in my life The father’s role it is very important during this journey. Let’s discuss about the role of the father and the entire support system. Especially in terms of the mental makeup. We have with us the well known gynecologist Dr Nitika Sobti. Namaste. Namaste. And we have Brahma Kumari Sister Shivani. Om Shanti. Om Shanti. We have looked that many aspects pertaining to physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Sometimes the role of the father in all these does not seem very predominant. How important is the father’s role? It’s very important and there is a changing scenario that We have more nuclear families and elderly mothers. Everyone is concerned. I have seen a huge shift in the last 10 years, in the role of fathers where they want to get involved. They are quite concerned. I sometimes feel that the mother is already going through a lot of problems It is a kind of physical and emotional responsibility on the mother also. I have seen that fathers understand everything and endorse what the mother goes through. They play a very important role even during our communication. During the nine months and even once the baby is born It’s very important and they are playing their role. And if they are not playing their role, I feel it’s actually a journey even for them. Fatherhood is a phase where you can explore your feelings and enjoy them. It’s parenthood and not just motherhood. How does the father get involved? Certainly, for example in everyday social chores. Whether the wife is working or housewife, he has a role before leaving for work and after returning. It’s about the love we speak of. If the wife’s health is not good and she gets support from him. Even if you want medicines anyone can administer it. But understanding her needs lovingly. Thinking of her and understanding the discomfort she is going through. It’s very empowering for the mother. It makes a positive impact on her. Definitely because even if there is one caring hand. And if that caring hand is the father of my child It becomes very important. Dr Nitika has endorsed that they are playing the role physically What about emotionally and spiritually? In today’s times we are all inclined towards spirituality. But they take a step back when it comes to emotional and mental aspects. But they don’t know what to do. We discussed a lot about the changes which a mother can bring about, in her personality. Even the father need to change himself and his personality during this phase. He needs to do it. Because the mother’s vibrations have a direct effect on the child. But the father’s vibrations have an effect on the mother. When it is a nuclear family Your closest relationship is with your husband. If the father takes up the responsibility that during the nine months There will be no conflict at home We will not argue over anything Even if something happens we will finish the matter soon. Increase the self esteem of the wife Some husbands have the habit of criticizing It could be for fun or to taunt the wife Sometimes they do it in front of other people. Or even when she is alone, they criticize. It’s a deep Sanskar which cannot change overnight. But the father needs to understand that, at this time, either in my thoughts or in my words I should not say anything which will will disturb her mood. The father can take this up as his prime responsibility. Nothing that I should think or say Which will upset her even a little bit. But do the opposite. Appreciation and love because of which So that even if she is in pain physically, her mood will get uplifted. That can be the first and the most important responsibility. In the process he will start taking care of himself. If he would get angry earlier, now he will not. If earlier he had a habit of dominating Now he will not do it. If you dominate over the wife and she will feel suppressed Then the child will feel suppressed. It is possible that the child will feel suppressed for a very long time, by a lot of people. Because it has become his Sanskar. Little things. Have a one on one conversation and find out from the wife. Sometimes when we check ourselves we don’t get to know much. About anything in us which is troubling them. But even if the father wants to do it One advice which comes from the elders to that father is There is nothing novel for you to do so much. There is no need to do all this. Second advice is – Don’t overdo. Let her be independent. These things put the father on the backfoot. I can add another aspect based on I what I see today The father is over concerned, so the mother becomes stressed. She wants to be free. They read about so many complications on the internet. They discuss some of them and we are open to it. But sometimes when they discuss about things She is not going through it, but the father is inquiring about it That is unnecessary information for her. They can get too involved when it is not required. We just need to check one thing about what we are doing. Our intentions are pure. We need to check the result – Is my wife comfortable and happy? If she is feeling suffocated, then I am doing the opposite of what I want to do. So we need to check the intent and result definitely. It is she feeling comfortable as a result? Somewhere if she is not comfortable, then I should be ready to change it. This is the best time to work on your ego. Earlier the ego would say I am right and what I did was right. Now is the time when you should keep your definition of right aside. Earlier the conflict was between the husband and wife. Now we have to see that there are two people who are getting affected. My ego is going to affect to people now. If the father is ready to do so much, then why not work on ego? Earlier the ego would say why should I bend or give in? But now is the time to bend. Adjust, adapt, and accept what she says. Because it is for the child. If the family asks if this is a unique child? Say yes, why not? Yes, let it be a unique experience. Why should I worry about what other people are doing? For me these 9 months are only for the child. Why not? I can put any amount of time and energy, and do anything for the child. So it doesn’t matter even if people say why are you you doing so much, when it’s such a normal thing. Even after the child is born, people bring up the child very differently. Their capacities are different. So there is no comparison with other parents. Go beyond comfort and your capacity, go overboard if possible. And overboard refers to emotional aspect. Yes, otherwise we may go overboard in expenditure. That’s another topic to be discussed. Because of the expenses, they have to keep a budget. Otherwise it can be stressful. Emotional investment has higher effect. Money can buy only material comforts. Not just now for the child. For a lifetime, with money we can only buy comforts for the child. We thought when we buy them things, those things will give them happiness. And now we have seen it did not work. We were supposed to give them the energy of happiness. We were not to give them happiness via money. We have to give them happiness directly. Money and material comforts cannot give happiness. Buy this, buy that, read this, attend that class… Yes it is good, but how much can you afford? Suppose you cannot afford Because there are so many options around you at this time which people are choosing. Someone is going for hypno-birthing, someone else is going for another option… I might not be able to afford so much. I should not think negative. That they are going so their child will be better. No. My child is affected by my state of mind. So no comparison and no jealousy. Sometimes there is a comparison within the family if someone else is going through it simultaneously. I just need to look at my situation. And money is not the criteria. Now it has to be very clear that Money cannot buy happiness and money cannot buy health. Both of these are created here in the mind. I think father can do that. And father can also connect with the child. Directly. But they are a little scared sometimes. Please share your experience with your patients of how they take two steps back. Actually we just need to share the knowledge with them Then it becomes easier because they want to do it. But if we explain everything to them then I am sure they will do it. They would be waiting to do it. At least I as a caregiver have never asked When they last said hello to their baby. I have not asked. We ask the mother if they are feeling the movements. Because movements are very important. When the baby moves he is giving you a signal That Mummy, I am okay. But we never say – He is giving both of you a signal that he is doing okay. Maybe the father steps back because he thinks the connect is only between the baby and the mother. So we have received many emails asking As a father or as grandparents, how do we connect? Sit and talk to the child because he is listening to everything inside. You can start talking and start building your relationship. Stalking mean casually or through thoughts? Talking also. The child can hear it? Even if he cannot hear The soul will catch thoughts. We had seen that if someone is in coma Then it is not through ears, but the soul receives everything you say. Because the soul at that time is disconnected from the body. Similarly when the soul is in the womb, we don’t even need to wait Whether the ears are developed yet or not. Start talking and the soul will hear The soul will even catch whatever the previous family is talking about it. Why do we say that, once a soul leaves the body don’t talk ill about that soul? It is said that once the person is no more, don’t speak anything negative about them. They even say that for 13 days, the soul is wandering around and can hear us talk. So once the soul is taking a new body, you don’t need to wait Whether the body is fully developed for the child to hear. He is listening so you start talking. Sometimes conversing through thoughts will seem difficult. So you can just sit down and talk. Whatever you feel like sharing Talk everything to the child. You have started your relationship then. Can the father also participate in the process of creating a virtual baby? That itself qualifies as participation, isn’t it? When the father takes care of his own emotions Even the father’s vibrations are very powerful. He is is the company of the mother for the maximum duration. So the effect of father on the mother And the effect of the father on the child directly Because of his presence. Because the presence of everyone at home has an effect. So the father has the maximum effect. The child’s Karmic connection with both parents is equal. This we always need to remember. That both have the same or equal Karmic connection. Although the child is developing in the Mother’s Womb The child has an equally strong Karmic connection with the father. That is why he has come to this couple. That is why we don’t say that only the mother’s Sanskar is inherited by the child. The child inherits Sanskars from both mother and father. Which means when the father is virtuous, those qualities will come to the child. What kind of conversation should they have? They find it a bit difficult since they can’t see the child yet. When you have someone in front of you it is easier to talk to them. But we need to picturise the child And now we cannot even visualise whether it is going to be a girl or a boy. So what should the conversation revolve around? Should we talk about us? We can’t speak more about the child of what he or she will become. What do you suggest? Per my knowledge and experience what I can share is First thing in the morning even though the child might be asleep Wish your child a good morning. Tell the child that you were comfortable at night. Ask the child if he was comfortable. Even the father can do it. I always tell them that when the father is leaving for work I am leaving, so take care of yourself and take care of mummy throughout the day. While the mother is cooking Tell the child – I am preparing breakfast for you and for me. I am preparing it with a lot of care and love. Let’s eat it together. Now let’s go to office. It’s time. When we come back in the evening we will not be tired, we will help each other. This kind of conversation. Whatever you are doing, just involve your child in it. How do we talk to an infant? He doesn’t acknowledge and maybe he doesn’t even listen. If your child is 10 days old or 1 month old You keep talking to the child isn’t it? The same thing you need to speak while the child is in the womb. Just loving sentences I always tell my patients They tell me that they are constantly thinking weather everything will be fine… I tell them you think of whatever activity their doing and involve the child in it. Do it together. If you are going out to buy something, tell the child that both of you are going shopping. Ask the child – What did you like? Did you like what I bought? We have to give some good thoughts to the mind But people are not finding it easy. There not able to visualise. You can tell them stories. You can sing lullabies to the child. Colouring or joining the dots… This is the easiest time to teach. If you can listen to bhajans or sing it yourself. Whatever you do which is good and healthy for your child is fine. Just involve the child while doing it. Studies have even prove that the mother can teach languages at this time. The story of Abhimanyu is an example. It is said that Abhimanyu had heard the entire conversation And there are studies about languages that Whatever new language is the mother learnt during that time The child could immediately pick up the same language. And this is proven. The child can even learn bad language from us. Exactly. There are studies the mother has taught French and German to the child. I am telling you about where your intellect is being used. It’s not just our communication language. It’s about intellect. So they say whatever the mother has learnt becomes easier for the child to learn. So even grandparents can have a conversation. Your relationship gets created. Just see the beautiful result that will unfold when the child arrives. He already knows everyone. Even we know the child well by now. Otherwise only the mother would have created a relationship buy now. The father, grandparents and others will bond only later. Because I have not bonded this way. I think this is a trial for everyone to make an effort. And if we consciously choose to meditate, to visualise If both husband and wife sit together to do it it, even better. The husband cannot sit every time Mother needs to do everyday. We need to add this to our routine. 5 to 10 minutes in the morning and evening. Between 6:30 and 7:30 would be very good. And 10 minutes before going to bed at night. Because we need to pack up our thoughts before sleeping at night. There could have been unpleasant situations during the day There could have been some anxiety over health during the day At night I have to clean my mind. Because thoughts have a deep impact when we are asleep. Because while sleeping the mother is also in a detached state. So if there is any anxiety playing on my mind, from what happened in the day It will have a big influence. Meditation even before going to bed at night. Meditation means we clean our thoughts. With choose any one value, for example, Peace Each day take a different virtue – peace, purity, love… And we will talk to the baby about that value. And we will remember that the baby is originally peaceful. Originally I am also a peaceful soul. Both of us are God’s children. We are in the canopy of God’s peaceful rays. Just visualise rays of peace from God Are coming as a blessing We are surrounded by beautiful rays of peace from God. And then I see myself the whole day Depending on what my routine is that day How I will be a peaceful soul the whole day. Not just peaceful while meditating. But even if I get stuck with some task, get held up at traffic, or if someone scolds me Or even if there is a crisis I am a peaceful soul. So me and the baby together Will visualise our day today. And then I will also tell the baby I am aware that you might be facing a little discomfort But you are a peaceful soul. So you will also handle all your discomfort in a very peaceful way. This is also a way of connecting. So you start talking to the baby about values. You are a peaceful soul, you are a pure soul, you are a knowledgeful soul… You are a Loveful soul. The original qualities of the soul will start emerging. Not just for those 5 minutes, but even during the day. You mentioned we don’t know if it will be a boy or a girl. So we can’t even name the baby anything right now. So we will keep names like peaceful soul, loveful soul… So we will keep such names because we will not keep names based on the gender right now. We will talk to the soul. Ask – Beautiful soul, how are you? Pure soul, how are you doing? Like that… Automatically your focusing directly on the soul. And giving it those vibrations. And the soul knows I am that The information that we use during pregnancy Today we have simplified it so much. The meditation we are practicing We are advised to do meditation, or chant mantras, or focus on breathing. But can conversations become meditative? Meditation in Hindi is referred as Yog. And Yog means connection. When one soul is connected to another We say this person is in Yog with the other. Which means you are only thinking about them. Meditation means The thought which you created Your mind is aligned with that thought Then you are meditating. It could be on anything. I could be meditating on work. If I take a thought about my work And if I think about it for the next 10 minutes I am meditating on work. I am in Yog with my work. If we are connecting only to God for 10 minutes And we are only thinking of Him, then that is meditation. We call it Rajyog when we are connected to the highest energy. The meditation we will do now during pregnancy involves 3 souls. The Supreme Soul (God), I the soul, and child soul. Until now the meditation involved God and me the soul There is another soul now. Now if I connect that child soul with the Supreme Soul There cannot be any anxiety thereafter Once the child is connected to God. Even normally if you look at meditation You create a thought Suppose you are sitting here but you think of your work Two things happen immediately. You create a thought Immediately a picture of it will get created, always. You will see certain things People involved in it will be visible And immediately you will feel something. It could be anxiety or something very nice Suppose sitting here you think of your children who are at home. Which means first the thought is created. Secondly, immediately you can see your house and your children Which means you visualise them. Third is that you experience. In this case something very nice and loving. So 3 faculties are involved in meditation Thought, followed by visualisation which involves intellect And the third experience. Bye experiencing It becomes a part of you Now if we create a thought I am a peaceful soul. We take the thought and visualise it. The peaceful soul here is bright And another peaceful soul which is in my womb. A very bright star, pure. If it’s a peaceful soul then how will his face be? Very peaceful. How will a peaceful soul be throughout the day? How would he speak and behave? The peaceful soul inside me Even if the soul is in pain or discomfort But the soul is peaceful. So how will that soul face it? This is meditation. If we do this for even 2 minutes or 5 minutes initially Then we were meditating on the virtue of peace For myself and for the soul inside me. So we choose what to meditate on. So you take peace on one day, happiness the next day. My child is a blissful soul. Think that way instead of asking if my child is doing well. Is my baby fine? This is a Question mark. Why should we send a question mark message? We will send an affirmative message. Don’t ask if he is fine. Be certain that he is extremely happy. My child is experiencing bliss. Even when this message goes Even if the child is in pain, that pain will get finished. And I feel so good Because whatever I thought you create decides how you feel. If there is an anxiety – will the child be fine, is everything alright, will my pain affect the child… These thoughts will affect negatively. The stress was only because I can’t see the child So I will have these doubts. The moment I say that he or she is perfectly fine, beautiful, and blissful I myself start feeling good. My child inside is blissful. Why is he in a state of bliss? Because he is not yet attached to his sense organs. We hear about Ati indriya sukh – which is bliss, beyond the realms of sense organs. The happiness which is beyond sense organs. This is the right time to experience that bliss. Because I am not connected to my body. Actually the child is going to be very blissful at this time. After he is born we try to give sensual pleasures. Eat this, listen to that… Which are related to sense organs. Right now that child experiences bliss which transcends sense organs. Why are we doubting this? The child is blissful at this time. This is meditation. We have also connected the child to God, as the third element in meditation. He is the ocean of bliss, the ocean of love I the soul will take those vibrations from Him And give it to my child. There will be no fear or pain emotionally, after that. And the soul will be so happy that it will overcome any physical pain. In any form of meditation focus on these three aspects. Create a thought, visualise it throughout the day And thirdly you will automatically experience it. When you experience it, it is becoming a part of your and your child’s Sanskar. That is why if you create the opposite We do meditate but we often meditate based on fear. For 10 minutes we meditate in fear. Sometimes we meditate in anxiety. Today this happened and it means something negative… I read about it on internet. Even if there is a slight symptom, we type it out on the internet, to find out what it means. And then we will find 10 more things mention their. Which means we meditate on those 10 for the next 10 minutes. Whatever we meditate on, we start becoming that way. That is why we need to meditate on God. When we focus on God We become like Him. If we focus on values then we become that way. If we focus on worry and fear, then we become that way. Whatever you concentrate on, you will become. And we have been afraid of meditation. Although we have been doing it unknowingly with complete focus. We have concentrated and worked on it But we never realised we are becoming that. It means we have been meditating. But we say it is difficult to meditate. And when we focus on things It’s a clear cut focus and we make it happen. I am learning so much, sitting here. This is so right, what she said Because we feel it. Our branch is related to surgical branch. Dealing with life and dealing with emotions. Talking to so many people. So the responsibility on us about a patient So sometimes even we might create stress and anxiety. As a lay person if you just enter 4 operation theatres All 4 will have different energies. Different energies. Some people can do the surgery very peacefully. Somebody can do it with anxiety. Now I can understand it as Sanskars. So it is a learning for me as well. All of us do meditation. But why we say meditation is difficult is The word meditation means when you have picked up pure, positive thought to meditate on. When you sit down to do that, it feels a little difficult, That you need to create a specific thought. Because ordinary, negative or waste thought is created more often. It may not feel true also. Or we feel that we are creating it. We are creating our thoughts. Our thoughts manifest into our reality. So what we think is getting manifested into our reality. So when I know what is the reality I want I just need to create thoughts on that basis. Suppose you sit for meditation in the morning Instead of saying you have vomits or pain And they will happen because that’s a part of it. But you need to divert your mind from it. Otherwise you will keep thinking about it. That is why we prepare meditation commentary. Suppose you are not able to do it for yourself at times Then audio recordings are available on the websites and in the DVD pack. Play that meditation commentary through the DVD or even on your phone. Suppose you upload the commentaries on your phone Your phone is always with you. Even if you feel slight discomfort or anxiety sometime in the day Just play the audio. Listen to it and even your child inside will listen. Both of you are listening. When the soul listens to it repeatedly Play the 33 minute commentary even 10 times a day Even the child will do meditation. You know something? Even if we cannot meditate the child will do it because his state of mind is very good. He will catch the vibrations. So even if you cannot meditate, let the child listen to the commentary. We have understood that soothing music has an effect on the child Even bhajans are played for children at this time. It’s an opportunity for the mother also to change her life. Whether she is playing sloka or chant During the labour process it is played continuously. About 50% to 70% of the people certainly have it played. Every word has certain energy. If you consider the word Om. Om is said to be the highest energy sound. Even if someone does not understand the meaning of the mantra Vibration has an effect. The child is in a state of catching those vibrations That is why elders advice to play mantras at home. Meditation commentaries help because they are personalized positive affirmations. They are elevated and personalized affirmations. If you repeatedly listen to – I am a peaceful soul. And gradually you start creating that thought yourself And the next step is to gradually start using it in your day that I am a peaceful soul. I am a pure soul. Suppose your mother in law says something unpleasant Then immediately create a thought – She is also a pure and peaceful soul. Your thinking and your energies towards people will change. Where it would take effort earlier, now it becomes easier. To think nice for everyone I want my child to have the quality of respect. That he should respect everyone. So first of all he should respect me. Today parents are not being respected by children. If parents respect their elders When the child is in the womb The child also will learn to respect elders. Children retaliate only because they don’t find their parents right in some situation. The child is learning all this. So if I pay a little attention I can change the whole environment. The child’s environment will change. Have the meditation commentaries on your phone Even if there is slight physical discomfort, play it. The child will feel peaceful and even we will feel peaceful. Do it every evening also. Even during the day if you are free for few minutes, play it. Moment the commentary is played Any ordinary or wasteful thought in your mind will get cut Play the commentary certainly before having food. We need to give beautiful vibrations to the food This food will not only nourish the body Of the baby But will also have an effect on the soul. Food that I am eating It is filled with God’s power and love. Which means your feeding Prasad to your child and not ordinary food. Don’t even call it food. Come let’s eat Prasad. The word itself will give you the right vibration. We are not only giving the child but eating it ourselves to. The whole family can eat Prasad. When we create negative thoughts on meditate in anxiety you mentioned that harmful hormones are secreted. When we follow what Sister Shivani said I understand the child’s thoughts will change. But what are the changes that happen internally? We discussed about feel good neurotransmitters There are so many types in them which elevate our mood We have scientific reasons for whatever she has explained But practically we have not shared it with people That you need to do this for this hormone to be secreted In my personal experience I have not informed my patient in this way. I have given then the knowledge of course that They should create nice thoughts, not have anxiety Involve your child in what you do Because of that feel good neurotransmitters will be generated in your body It will help in pain relief It will induce sleep Your mood will be fine This technique I think will do wonders. I feel it is not just going to help expected couples and their families It helps even caregivers like us We also carry heavy load, although I should not use the word load. It’s a very pure responsibility of bringing forth, a new life. After the delivery when we place the baby near the mother We just wonder about the entire creation. You might feel why can’t she understand that it is so important We have not shared the technique with them. We have given them the information but we need to tell them the procedure. While waiting for the child to come we always forget that he is already there. We need to simplify our lifestyle If you want to do all these things, then at least the mother She cannot keep her Lifestyle at the same pace As it was a few months earlier. Being fast, waking up, getting ready, going to office Returning late at night, eating just something and going off to sleep. Then you are not paying attention. I think both of them should change their lifestyle because things like partying But I was even meaning about working lifestyle. It’s a process. Actually you should protect your child from such vibrations. From environments like partying, drinking and even drugs these days. Wherever such things take place Vibrations there will also be very different. These are places where there is highest level of tamsik energy. Why expose your child to such things? Why not take your child two places where there is highest level of Satvik energy? In this phase where the catching power of the child is at the highest Make the most of that time. If the mother can slow down her career and her lifestyle It would be very good Only then she will be able to do these things. Many people say – After my baby I took a break. It’s very beautiful that after the baby they took a break. Some people take a break of 2 years or 3 years. But it’s always after my baby. After the baby is born, actually other people can also help us. To take care of the baby so that if you are tired you can take rest. Your mother or your mother in law can take care. Suppose they are not available and you live in a nuclear family You will have a Nanny or any other help All of them can take care of the baby. Even if you are out on work for 4 hours, someone can take care for those 4 hours. But when the baby is in your womb, then nobody else can take care. At that time only you need to take care. At least after listening to all this I feel After the delivery you can take a break depending on your comfort But during these 9 months you certainly need to take a break. We would not even have thought of it because practical issues come only after 9 months. We think there is no problem when the child is inside. We don’t realise how much is happening there. Only if you take a break you will be able to do all this And most importantly because there are many challenges today. So it’s a little difficult for the mother handle work Handle colleagues and boss Handle time pressure and targets , travel. And yet remain stress-free. It is possible only if she has years of experience. Which means you are going into an environment of stress. You are getting into situations and maybe even into office politics. Why expose yourself to that kind of stress? Dr Nitika in your experience What happens when you explain it to the couple together? It may not be the mother’s decision alone It can be combined decision of a working couple. The husband’s role becomes important to see if she can be given a break. As the father will have to take a little bit more of financial load. And maybe he will have to alter the lifestyle. What is your opinion? When it comes to efforts, we work hard even before giving an exam And here we are talking about a lifetime project. And I am sure that if we explain it to them, they are open to understanding it. We have to see that even we have understood so much During this journey by sitting together and discussing. So it has been a really nice experience even for us. So it’s very important that we change our schedule a little bit We can work on ourselves only if we have a little time. Even if we are at home we have our own schedules. Even if we are not working. But we have to understand the importance of what we have discussed today. Who should discuss it with a couple? Is it doctors or counselors, or who else can explain it to them? Even to the whole family not just the couples Today I feel the mother plays an important role herself. The family says that she can take time off But the mother herself doesn’t want to take a break. Maybe because she has worked so hard for her career. She might even fear that she cannot get back to work. Third reason could be that she is not aware that she needs a break now. She would have planned to take it later. And the biggest reason could be that she fears losing independence. Sometimes they think that since the family is growing So we need to be financially stronger. So how can we lose out on financial stability, especially when there is already anxiety Whether I am ready to take up the financial responsibility. But if our priority is clear That my responsibility is to make my child emotionally and physically strong. We have our whole life to be financially strong. We will achieve our financial goal later. But to make ourselves and the child emotionally and physically strong, this is the time. I met a mother whose child is 4 years old. She said she has quit her job just now because she felt her child needs her Maybe his health is not okay, so she has left her whole career She is planning to become a teacher They do a lot and the concern is very clear They are doing it. We should tell them when to start. We have to be convinced first within ourselves And then if we tell them, they will understand. Until now I would just tell them – Ease out your work schedule. Take an option of work from home. Take an off during mid week since you have an off at the weekend. Even those things are relevant but gradually you can see what you can manage. And I am sure everybody has to take that little break in their career Because anyway everyone will take a break later Even as per the government laws you will get a break of 6 months later on. So you are anyway getting leaves later. If we manage to change our life style even financially it may not be a burden perhaps. If we make the child emotionally strong We don’t need to give him many things to make the child happy. What do we need to give financially? Why do we want to give different things? For the good of my child which means To give him happiness and health. This is what we say. The specific expenses are that instead of regular food we give organic food. We give only mineral water… Which is all very good. But when his body and emotional health was getting created If we did not take care at that time It will mean that we will need more effort later on And sometimes no matter how much we do later on The foundations of health and emotions are already sowed. I, after listening to all this, feel That in those 9 months there should be a compulsory break Or working from home where you are absolutely at ease Where your lifestyle is at ease And then you can start based on your personal situation later on. I think it is the family’s responsibility also to take care of her. In earlier times the girl was asked to take rest and remain light. 8 to 10 hours of sleep at night, and 2 hours of rest in the afternoon. No working woman can do this. During those 10 to 12 hours When your body is asleep it is not at work. Which means 12 hours of sleep are necessary. Who can do it if they are working? And it is not that you are constantly sleeping during pregnancy. There are many other things. Most important is that your mind and body will be at a slow pace. It has a calming effect that you are at a slower pace. Because today we are literally hurrying and running. We don’t want to give that vibration to the child. Otherwise we will say our child is hyperactive. That’s because we did not give that calming effect. That’s why since the time we have started working Lot of things have come which did not exist earlier Like child psychiatry Working woman will have a deep impact It may sound conservative but its a fact. You have chosen to be a parent Suppose you are constructing a house If someone says I’m going to get it done myself People will say it’s a very huge project and you will need to take care for 1.5 years. You will need to supervise everything by yourself. Even if we are just getting the house renovated. It’s a lot of effort even if we have an architect and engineers. But we had to go there ourselves and supervise. Because if they use wrong quality? So we need to take care of everything. For a material thing if we are putting so much effort of 1.5 or 2 years We pay attention to the minutest detail. Here its a child which is getting created. There was no awareness, but now with this series a lot of people are understanding what needs to be done. Thank you so much, Sister Shivani and Dr Nitika. Now we understand that it’s not just the responsibility of the woman. Even if she is not comfortable about taking a break As a family we need to reassure her that it is fine to take a break. Because this is the foundation period for the child, as Sister Shivani beautifully said. Because there has been a lot of rush and hurry in our lifestyle. As working women We don’t want our child to live in that vibration. We need to take a decision as a family. It is the responsibility of the husband to reassure and support his wife. It’s not only about financial independence, we can manage that. If you want to share or ask anything, please send an email. That’s all we had for today. Let’s meet again. Namaste.


  1. didi hu dr 6u.tya to atmosphere saru j 6 to hu roj clinic jav ne..k n jvay??khrab vibration nthi hota tya…

  2. Dr ji kya baby ka jo kuch aadat ya behavior jo maa k andar hoti hai ya pita ke andar hoti hai kya ye kuch naturally hoti hai ya ye sub hum starting se create karte hai

  3. Thanks alot sister Shivani u help me alot in my days of pregnancy and even after delivery ….it is to helpfull even to talk silently to my child..,due to that he can understand me… N.also.. negotiate with my condition s also…

  4. Thanks for the useful videos, though I am not fully agreeing with taking work break. I have seen women who loose their normal good behaviour and independence while taking a break. Instead, keeping up working keeps u active and away from worrying too much about the changes ur body is undergoing in these 9 months. That’s y docs now a days suggest to continue normal lifestyle, so as to stay active.

  5. I´ts impossible to understand… you mix English with what other language… I can´t undersand… What a pity. the subject seems very nice.

  6. My husband always criticize me even when i am right.maine apna confidence bht loose kiya hai.or hamesha dar lagta hai.main apne dil ki bat b unse nahi bol sakti.i am feeling ki m vaisi hi banti ja rahi hun jaisa vo bolte hain.kahin mera baby bhi vaisa to nahi hoga na?

  7. The Anchor is super irritating. Please let the panel people speak and complete their sentences.. she keeps interrupting and she is sooooo loud..

  8. Mam mere Husbend to muze bilkul support nahi karate me bohat dipreshan me rahati hu mam please mera baccha andar thik ho eske liye kya karu please help me mam

  9. Mam, i am 2months pregnant. It's my first pregnancy so i feel very tried and i cant do house hold work properly and that's for why my husband always scolded me and he made me cry. I feel very sorry for my child who also be unhappy with me. 😢

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